The key to success for parents is figuring out what exactly it is that you do to annoy your teenager. Once you know, you can either:
a) step it up a notch to ensure you'll have the next two hours in quiet solitude, or
b) knock it off....a strategy best employed when you need the bathroom cleaned or the backyard mowed.
Defining exactly what is annoying is an elusive task....today it could be just your tone of voice, tomorrow it could be the shirt you are wearing.
Say you are trying to help your teenager solve a financial crisis and are prepared to offer the money required. "Would $50 help you?" could be your initial offer. If you said it with the right tone that cash will be flying out your pocket before you blink (and if the moon is full, and no one is honking the horn outside, you may get a thank you in return).
If you use the wrong tone (oh, I should mention this is the moment when you need to realize you have no clue whether your tone is right or wrong?) you will be $50 richer and receive more of a gutteral response rather than a word in the language in which you are familiar. Best of all, that warm feeling of extreme confusion will envelop you once again, making you wonder why on earth you even offered in the first place.
Tomorrow, if you are lucky, you start with a clean slate. It is possible that no matter what tone you use you could receive extreme enthusiasm (if so then you go high five yourself in the bathroom RIGHT AWAY). However, don't get too cocky. When you walk out of the bathroom your world could collapse once they see your shirt/jeans/hair or your shoes.
I love my teenagers dearly. They make me examine things about myself I never knew existed, and perhaps some I've never had. Parents who are able to silently hum inside their head while imagining their teenager with a pineapple on their head are the successful ones. I'm still working on the silent part of humming with a smile.
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